标题: Post from a candidate's gf: What would be most helpful to al [打印本页] 作者: optiix 时间: 2013-8-16 11:19 标题: Post from a candidate's gf: What would be most helpful to al
My boyfriend will be sitting for level II along with many of you on June 1st, and as such has been preparing tirelessly for quite some time. My question to all of you is: what would be the most helpful support you could receive from a partner to get you through this difficult time? Obviously I do my best to do much of the cleaning/shopping/laundry, etc. when possible, but what sort of emotional support can I offer? I know it’s not helpful to say “I know you’ll pass” for example, but I want to be able to give some sort of reassurance since he’s not able to muster that up for himself.
Basically, it’s really hard for me to watch him work so hard while his confidence decreases with each passing mock exam, when to me it seems like he should be really pleased with his scores! What would be the best thing for all of you to hear at this point to make the next few weeks go a little more smoothly?作者: DarienHacker 时间: 2013-8-16 11:19
if he needs some stress relief, let him have it作者: RepoToronto 时间: 2013-8-16 11:19
Clarify “stress relief.” Exactly what should she be giving him to relieve his stress?作者: tango_gs 时间: 2013-8-16 11:20
- Feed him
- Give him sex
- Don’t talk to him作者: ayaz_mahmud369 时间: 2013-8-16 11:20
You sound like a great girlfriend, supportQ.作者: ninja1024 时间: 2013-8-16 11:20
You could plan some sort of nice dinner or weekend for after Level II.作者: brain_wash_your 时间: 2013-8-16 11:20
Plan a trip for the two of you after the exam. That is what my wife did and it was great to help me get my mind out of CFA mode. Also, it will be good for your relationship. I second what Black Swan said thta you sound like a good gf.作者: transferpricing 时间: 2013-8-16 11:21
+1 on the good GF comment.
But yeah, leave him alone and feed his manly-needs (wink wink). Maybe throw in a massage sometime. Not much you can do to help emotionally, seriously the worst thing is when people say “I’m sure you’ll do fine”, or “I know you’ll pass”.作者: Iginla2010 时间: 2013-8-16 11:21
Thank you all for the advice! I will keep trying to be helpful and otherwise stay out of the way. I hope you all know your significant others are as anxious for June 2nd as you all are! (well, almost).作者: noel 时间: 2013-8-16 11:21
1) Respect his schedule.. rethink ANYTHING that’ll prevent him from studying for more than an hour.
2) Don’t fight/argue over small things if possible.. save it all for June 2 if you can’t let go.
3) Don’t take it personally if he’s not in the mood..
4) Last but most important, don’t get in the way if it’s at all possible.. he’s gonna have to go through this all over again next year if he fails.作者: rohitdoshi 时间: 2013-8-16 11:21
GF+1.
I’ll only add that stress relief doesn’t have to be R rated. A message works just as good. When you cook, something that can be finished in 10 mins is helpful, something you can hold on your hand is even better.作者: dvilayphet 时间: 2013-8-16 11:21
If your BF screws up and you gotta dumb that joker, I’ll gladly be your rebound CFA Boyfriend Just let me know! lol
+1 on good GF作者: pawn 时间: 2013-8-16 11:22
1. Laundry, dishes, and preparing food is THE biggest help. Saves us an insane amount of time. I can’t say enough how much this stuff helps.
And the best (only) thing that you can really say at this point: “I’M PROUD OF YOU”
Say it, and say it often. It works.
And kudos to you for really making an effort, that’s very awesome.作者: cv4cfa 时间: 2013-8-16 11:22
supportQ, I’m the gf sitting for level 3 this year, And the best thing my bf does (And did for other levels) are grocery shopping, laundry, hugs when I feel down, And space. No such thing as “stop studying, i don’t get to see you…” which is hard but very helpful. best you can do is to be flexible and gove him the time he needs. Also I’m extremely stressful nervous and prone to anger a month before each exam… and my bf’s an absolute angel! He knows I’ll get back to normal when the exam is done, so he handles my bad temper quite well! Keep in mind that this is just a one off ! good luck!作者: cfa10yrplan 时间: 2013-8-16 11:22
You’re an awesome gf for even thinking of asking for guidance. I’m tempted to provide you with bad advice for selfish reasons but jokes aside the statements listed above are gold. I would just add that when it is your time together, don’t even bring up studying/test or anything finance related. Talk about your day and help get his mind of the topics for the time being. Beyond that, sexy lingerie while cooking is always refreshing - cheers.作者: jbaldyga 时间: 2013-8-16 11:22
You best you can do to help him is by helping him avoid all distractions. What a lucky geezer!作者: LBriscoe 时间: 2013-8-16 11:22
@ the OP,
Just a heads up, after he passes lvl 2 he’ll probably be courted by a Hedge Fund in NYC, start making $500k+ and leave you for some slovakian model… so dont do anything too nice or spend too much money…
(oh gawd I feel awful now, lol)作者: IAmNeil 时间: 2013-8-16 11:23
+1 on the good GF
All of the above is good advice but you know him best and you know best how to act around him. Both my partner and me have done the CFA and we are both different. She sounds like mad’moiselle (above) and is prone to anger when stressed. I just go into myself and like to be left alone.
When I was studying all I wanted was to be left to make my own decisions and what I was going to do. External pressure to do things or not to do things that are not CFA related, just heaps unnecessary pressure on. Also, saying anything about whether he will pass or not is redundant. Unless you have done the course you have no idea. The best encouragement you can give is to be positive about all the scenarios that are possible. Tell him that if he fails, you’ll support him in trying again. Try to make him aware that you know what a big deal this exam is to him. He has invested a huge amount of his life into attempting it. No matter how smart you are this exam is a toughie.
Good luck over the next couple of weeks.作者: meghanjackson 时间: 2013-8-16 11:23
booty call.作者: CFA4Techie 时间: 2013-8-16 11:23
Wtf with all these “good g/f” comments?! My woman laments and just operates as normal; hell it’s HER time too. To the OP, support but don’t go overboard. You’re not some pet.作者: parott 时间: 2013-8-16 11:24
It always hard on private life when you commited on this kind of exam!作者: luckygiftvn 时间: 2013-8-16 11:24
^
Really, mfreema2? Hope you’re kidding… This sounds like terrible advice to me. I wouldn’t do this to someone else, and wouldn’t want them to do it to me either. You want a partner, not a hostage taker.
Keep doing what you’re doing, supportQ. Just be patient (sounds like you are - kudos to you!); it will be over soon. He will be grateful if you make few or no demands - and on a positive note, this can be a terrific time to enjoy some time with your friends, watch all the movies he wouldn’t like, work out, sleep, go to the spa… Give yourself all the attention he doesn’t want or need right now, and you’ll both come out of this happier!
Right now it’s hard on all of us to not do things, and even harder to say no to them. If you let him take the initiative and simply follow his lead, rather than propose activities, he will be VERY grateful to you. Time is at a ridiculous premium right now, and therefore free time is the best gift you can offer him. That and a smile and a good laugh when you are together - we don’t smile enough these days…
Just let me know! lol