Post from a candidate's gf: What would be most helpful to al boyfriend, difficult, emotional, partner, receive

optiix

My boyfriend will be sitting for level II along with many of you on June 1st, and as such has been preparing tirelessly for quite some time. My question to all of you is: what would be the most helpful support you could receive from a partner to get you through this difficult time? Obviously I do my best to do much of the cleaning/shopping/laundry, etc. when possible, but what sort of emotional support can I offer? I know it’s not helpful to say “I know you’ll pass” for example, but I want to be able to give some sort of reassurance since he’s not able to muster that up for himself.
Basically, it’s really hard for me to watch him work so hard while his confidence decreases with each passing mock exam, when to me it seems like he should be really pleased with his scores! What would be the best thing for all of you to hear at this point to make the next few weeks go a little more smoothly?

luckygiftvn

^
Really, mfreema2? Hope you’re kidding… This sounds like terrible advice to me. I wouldn’t do this to someone else, and wouldn’t want them to do it to me either. You want a partner, not a hostage taker.
Keep doing what you’re doing, supportQ. Just be patient (sounds like you are - kudos to you!); it will be over soon. He will be grateful if you make few or no demands - and on a positive note, this can be a terrific time to enjoy some time with your friends, watch all the movies he wouldn’t like, work out, sleep, go to the spa… Give yourself all the attention he doesn’t want or need right now, and you’ll both come out of this happier!
Right now it’s hard on all of us to not do things, and even harder to say no to them. If you let him take the initiative and simply follow his lead, rather than propose activities, he will be VERY grateful to you. Time is at a ridiculous premium right now, and therefore free time is the best gift you can offer him. That and a smile and a good laugh when you are together - we don’t smile enough these days…

parott

It always hard on private life when you commited on this kind of exam!

CFA4Techie

Wtf with all these “good g/f” comments?! My woman laments and just operates as normal; hell it’s HER time too. To the OP, support but don’t go overboard. You’re not some pet.

meghanjackson

booty call.

IAmNeil

+1 on the good GF
All of the above is good advice but you know him best and you know best how to act around him. Both my partner and me have done the CFA and we are both different. She sounds like mad’moiselle (above) and is prone to anger when stressed. I just go into myself and like to be left alone.
When I was studying all I wanted was to be left to make my own decisions and what I was going to do. External pressure to do things or not to do things that are not CFA related, just heaps unnecessary pressure on. Also, saying anything about whether he will pass or not is redundant. Unless you have done the course you have no idea. The best encouragement you can give is to be positive about all the scenarios that are possible. Tell him that if he fails, you’ll support him in trying again. Try to make him aware that you know what a big deal this exam is to him. He has invested a huge amount of his life into attempting it. No matter how smart you are this exam is a toughie.
Good luck over the next couple of weeks.

LBriscoe

@ the OP,
Just a heads up, after he passes lvl 2 he’ll probably be courted by a Hedge Fund in NYC, start making $500k+ and leave you for some slovakian model… so dont do anything too nice or spend too much money…
(oh gawd I feel awful now, lol)

jbaldyga

You best you can do to help him is by helping him avoid all distractions. What a lucky geezer!

cfa10yrplan

You’re an awesome gf for even thinking of asking for guidance. I’m tempted to provide you with bad advice for selfish reasons but jokes aside the statements listed above are gold. I would just add that when it is your time together, don’t even bring up studying/test or anything finance related. Talk about your day and help get his mind of the topics for the time being. Beyond that, sexy lingerie while cooking is always refreshing - cheers.

cv4cfa

supportQ, I’m the gf sitting for level 3 this year, And the best thing my bf does (And did for other levels) are grocery shopping, laundry, hugs when I feel down, And space. No such thing as “stop studying, i don’t get to see you…” which is hard but very helpful. best you can do is to be flexible and gove him the time he needs. Also I’m extremely stressful nervous and prone to anger a month before each exam… and my bf’s an absolute angel! He knows I’ll get back to normal when the exam is done, so he handles my bad temper quite well! Keep in mind that this is just a one off ! good luck!