JRossSter

I also find it interesting that Penis with a lower case p, i.e., @#$%&, is censored, but Penis with a capital P is not

JPSem

To be clear, the CFO was a woman, and I did get a strong sense that she was trying too hard to impose a "dominant" air. I was obedient and I work somewhat militaristically where I follow orders without question to get the job done. But this woman saw me as rebellious and as one post said, she had to be mean to assure that her superiority was noticed and respected. Ladies and gents, thank you for this. I enjoy this site greatly!

Beatnik

Don't confuse unethical with being a jerk. Sounds like your boss was a jerk.

Londonrocks

I never said she was unethical

MythosHF

levitsa101 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I never said she was unethical


are you sure - the thred subject had me thinking otherwise. In any case murders&ext is right, sounds like a power hungry @#$%&. Better off moving on

amqata

Thanks superinconsistent.

Benjiko

levitsa101 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> bos_IT:
>
> If it is all the same to you, I would like for you
> to expand on the "how to deal with such a
> personality in the workplace." What do you mean
> exactly when you say:
>
> "If you are able to crack the facade, you can
> develop a lot of loyalty from them. And you don't
> need to be an unethical sell-out or kiss-a$$ to do
> it."
>
> I am relatively new to the business world and I
> would like to know how to approach this
> personality more in-depth.
>
> Thank you everyone.



I’m calling it a fa?ade, because most people that I know at that level are not complete a$$holes nor are they completely incompetent. The fa?ade is there to cover up for something else. The key is finding out what the ‘something else’ is. It is difficult to give you specifics without knowing more details of your situation, but my guess is that she is either:

1) insecure in her job
2) having a difficult time risking her career by ‘trusting’ her employees (Remember she is relinquishing some control over her success)
3) Thinking she is trying to motivate you!!!
4) Has no redeeming value whatsoever

Assuming she was your boss (you weren’t really specific) and #4 is true, you did the right thing by leaving. However, in most cases that is not true. She didn’t make it to CFO by being a complete idiot.

Over time in 1on1 conversations you can usually get them to indirectly reveal what it is. If it is any one of those items I’ve listed (other than #4), I will just remind you of one thing: You are there to get your boss promoted. Let me repeat that YOU ARE THERE TO GET YOUR BOSS PROMOTED. Even if she wasn’t your boss, the following advice is still applicable. There is nothing like having friends in high places.

The first thing you need to do is make sure you find something you can agree on. Once you do that make sure she knows you agree with her on whatever it is. It doesn’t have to be a big thing, but agree on something or you will get nowhere.

Next, you should find out what she is good at and make sure others know about it. If you have access to their boss make sure you say something positive about her in their presence. However, if you aren’t careful, this is where you can be viewed as a suck-up, or kiss-a$$. But if you are giving your boss their props when they aren’t present, you most likely won’t be viewed that way. Now whatever you say HAS to be true. You can’t say they are great at putting together a budget when everyone knows they can’t add 2 and 2. Chances are that their boss will give them that feedback at some point and that can only work to your advantage.

Related to that last point, you need to give your boss some credit for your successful work when it is even slightly warranted. If she is insecure with her position, she will no longer view you as a threat, just the opposite, she will see you as someone that can be trusted and that, my friend, is the key!! Once she trusts you, you are in.

Similarly, you can find out what she is not so good at and help her out. She will probably already know that she is no good at whatever it is and will welcome your help. However, you can’t say ‘hey you suck at … so I will help you’. Instead, solve a problem and then say something like ‘I know that xyz is difficult, I would like to get your thoughts on this ….’

This may sound hokey (or may sound like you are playing politics), but it IS effective and simple! As long as you are being truthful you are fine and you will be able to look at yourself in the mirror when you get home. Also remember, your boss wants to be recognized just as much as you do, so you should use that to your advantage. So now you have built up trust with your boss that noone else has been able to. If you are successful and you get her promoted (cause remember that is why you are there), who do you think she is going to recommend to replace her???

Micholien

Check out books by Daniel Goleman. Great for understanding underlying motivations for actions in management. Being confronted by this at such a young age, I dont think there is much you can do but learn and move on. I worked for a startup company years ago with an ex football player and we almost came to blows at several meetings in his daily "beatdowns". Think about how exciting that was.

farrukhsadiq

my rule of thumb is, whenever i feel my employer is keeping me down, ie not promoting advancement or specifically holding information from me that would enable me to learn or advance in my career, it's time to leave the firm. you want a boss who is your advocate, not your adversiary. you'll find in finance that some people are frankly greedy bastards and want to keep you in a box where you show up, perform your tasks and leave. if you are on this message board and a cfa candidate you are probably a bit more motivated than the 9 - 5 ers and not willing to accept this fate. there is something to be said for being patient, but at a certain point the grass is in fact greener and it's time to go.